One of the first things I look for when parents are having issues with their child is “The House Rules”. Most of the time there are no clear rules.
No house rules often means lots of unspoken rules. Unspoken rules are often the root of many disagreements. I’m going to write about this in great detail in an up-and-coming Painless Parenting Vol. But for now I want to share a few tips…
Sit with your kids and make some rules with a paper and pencil.
Here’s an example:
1. We love and respect each other all the time because we are family. (I like to start with this because it’s the foundation of powerful families.)
2. We never hit each other. Instead we express with words how we really feel, right wrong or indifferent. (This helps if there are hitting issues in the family.)
Continue as you see fit for your own situation.
Now that rules are established they need to be read often. This can take one minute a day during a meal. Everyone can take a turn per day for one week.
Humans and animals love structure. stated rules (boundaries) will give the structure needed for a stable foundation all families can benefit massively from.