My Best Boundary Strategy

Children not only crave boundaries, they’re absolutely necessary for raising healthy children. When you start to set boundaries, there’s always going to be a protest. The protest is a test to see if you fold and a natural expression of discomfort. How you handle this part is way more important than the actual boundary. I grew up fatherless. Looking back, I can remember I absolutely craved boundaries and structure. When we don’t set boundaries out of fear of not being loved by our children, we create little monsters that walk all over us. It’s human nature. When I set a

If we listen, our children will teach us more about our selves than any self-help book, course or seminar. We just have to drop our guard and open our hearts. Our little ones are human mirrors with magical powers. Lots of what we may see may upset us. If we run and pretend we don’t see it, it will get buried in what’s called our shadow and continue to play havoc in our life which directly effects our children. When my daughter was very young, she said: “Do you really like me?” That broke my heart because of course, I

Children are “feelers”. When we speak to them, they are not listening to what we say as much as the vibe behind what we’re saying. If they feel the vibe and it’s inviting, they communicate with that, not our words. Women tend to communicate the same way subconsciously. Because I know this, I can sit with children and in just a few minutes open them wide up and they’ll tell me anything. Parents are always amazed to see me do this. But, anyone can do this if they know how children really communicate. If you learn how to say what

Over the years I’ve discovered children are optimally open and receptive to direction, guidance, and learnings when all resistance and tensions are removed. This goes for adults too. When all resistance is removed, we humans feel safe emotionally and physically which is fertile ground for learning super fast. When I work with children or adults, my first goal is to remove all, if any resistance. As I do this, I establish a foundation of respect, understanding and zero judgments. I tend to take Carl Rogers approach which is to look at clients with an unconditional positive regard. This is not

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