If we really listen which is an art in itself, our children will teach us more about ourselves than any self-help book, course, or $5,000.00 seminar. We just have to drop our guards, projections, ego, etc., and open our hearts.
Our little ones are human mirrors with magical powers. With their magical power, they reflect back to us, with zero judgment, what’s really going on within us.
Lots of what we may see will upset us. If we run and pretend we don’t see it, it will get buried in what’s called our shadow and continue to play havoc in our life which directly affects our children. If what we see upsets us and we look at the child for the cause of this pain, we will victimize them.
When my daughter was very young, she said, “Do you really like me?” That broke my heart because of course, I like and love her.
After I reassured her, gave her a hug, and she went on her way, I went to what was going on in my head right before she said that. I knew for a fact, something within me was triggering this response and I needed to get at it because I never want my only child to ever doubt my love for her.
What I was doing was having an internal battle. One part of me was wanting to project onto her how she should be (control), and another part of me was resisting it because I know projecting is toxic.
My higher-self wanted her to find her own way while I created space for her to do so. But my lower-self wanted to control her, was feeling like it needed to get back to work, and being present was a pain in the you-know-what. As I talked with her she was picking up on all kinds of mixed messages and it caused her to ask the question.
I don’t know of any seminar or book that could’ve given me those insights and I have spent a small fortune on them. Having said this, one would for sure need to be highly aware and fearless about going within.
Ever see a child say to their mom or dad, “Why are you mad?” to which they respond, “I’m not mad!” They are mad. They are hiding it and children can see it as clear as day. If this ever happens to you, just say “I don’t know but I will find out soon!” This will buy some time to figure out what’s going on while not blaming them.
Your child is like a wormhole into some of your darkest places. Let them lead you there so you can heal and grow. As a result, you will be able to show up for them even stronger and better than ever.
Hiding anything from them just creates a barrier between the two of you and it teaches them to do the same with others.
Children are our greatest teachers. We just need to open to them and be 100% honest with ourselves (has painful as it can be).