When parents start to take the high road in life, there may be some opposition from the people, you care about deeply.
This is natural and there may be a feeling in the gut that says, “retreat!”
If you made a commitment to taking the high road in your parenting, it not only serves you, it serves everyone around you and the greater good. There must not be any long term retreating in order to get the benefits that will emerge from your commitment.
So how do you deal with the opposition? My suggestion is to first understand it so you can stay out of any tug-a-wars with it.
Let’s take a family as an example.
Dad wants to stop being angry and show up more loving and compassionate. This is the high road. This intent will serve dad, mom, the children, and the greater good of the family unit.
Opposition: Because family members have an image of what dad is, anything outside it will be judged, questioned, or rejected. This is a test. If the father can pass this test by sticking to his commitment, over time, everyone will naturally reconstruct the image in their mind of what dad is.
Humans are afraid of the unknown. Being anything different than what you have been, triggers fear.
We will do anything to avoid the fear of the unknown even if it’s keeping an unhealthy image of you in our mind and making you act in a way that aligns with that image.
When dealing with small children that have never had any real boundaries, I notice when I create one, they protest. If I can hold firm without judgment, embrace the protest as something natural, normal, and needed, it passes and the child LOVES me for holding that space and being a real leader they can follow. When I have given in to the protest I look weak and not committed to true leadership.
If you want to take the high road, it’s not easy but it is achievable.